Written and read for my dear friend Margaret Sigelakis who died 1/18/05

We come here to give thanksgiving.

How fortunate we all are to have known Margaret ……… No, rather, to have Margaret forever in our hearts and to know, unquestioningly that wherever she is, we will remain in her heart as well.

Please excuse me if I have trouble getting through this. Like so many of you I am already missing my close friend, confidant and, at times, partner in crime. Margaret, you have already given me my first ambush. While getting a dish out of your kitchen cabinet yesterday, I saw a pile of plastic containers from the Chinese Restaurant that I always brought you. Who do I save them for now?

I met Margaret and Jimmy through Tula and through Tommy Riggs. “We are going to celebrate Greek Easter in Sheepshead Bay,” they said. Where’s that? Ask anyone … It’s the neighborhood around ‘Jimmy’s Heros‘. For years I thought the entrance to their apartment was through the store, into the back hall, and then up the narrow stairs.

Margaret was always in the kitchen and Jimmy was always in the middle of a game on TV. I was met with not just acceptance … but with genuine love. So… What is the difference between “Greek Easter” and “Easter.“ (Jewish Boy, I) “We celebrate the rising up of Christ more than the crucifixion,” Margaret would say simply. Margaret and Jimmy embodied the good and joyful rather than destruction.

I have to speak about Jimmy when I mention Margaret. They were truly two of one and when Jimmy left us part of Margaret left as well. This was a more profound event than the stroke that left her partially paralyzed.

…She gave herself a minute or two of pity when she called me to pronounce “Howard, we are not having Easter this year.” (Not just Easter dinner … Easter in general.) “Yes we are” I said. “I’ll cook and you’ll show me.” A week before she told me that she had ordered the lamb. Two days before she told me that she had already prepped the dinner and all I had to do was turn the lamb and slice it. With a cutting board and a nail hammered up through the bottom to hold things in place … she made up for the other half of her body.

She instructed me in ‘everything.‘ In the following years, also for Christmas and Thanksgiving, I was instructed how to make spanicopita, the Harvey Wallbanger cake, the roasted potatoes …for Father Eugene. (No matter how she felt about you at that moment she always made sure that you had your roasted potatoes.) She instructed me in making the lamb, the turnips, the baklava, and on and on. Cooking was part of our frequent phone calls … as well as a bit of dish. She wasn’t as pure as some make her out to be. She was divine .

Everyone came to visit the home above ‘Jimmy’s Heros‘ like a pilgrimage. As she was graced into the family of the Greeks I was into Margaret and Jimmy‘s family. “Howard, call Irene down. We will be serving appetizers soon. (God those appetizers!! …… dolamas for days and (I’m proud to say) one of the first things she allowed me to bring from home. It was difficult for her to roll them with one hand. (anyway) Katy would show up with Tino. Dolly, of course, George, cousins, nieces, nephews, and many of you. There were so many of us and we were all in Margaret and Jimmy’s family.

Margaret had her passions and they all revolved around her home. The garden was not elegant. It was wonderful. It filled all the senses as well as the stomach. I always pruned a bit more than she had intended me to. “But, Margaret did you not get more grapes and more roses?” She would call me and tell me how beautiful the garden was. She began planning next year’s garden… It wasn’t even summer yet.

Like some of you, she made me feel like I had another mother. From time to time Tula and I would come out to Sheepshead Bay to do 'our chores.' Fix the chairs, put up a new light fixture, clean out the basement. It was requested in love and in love it was done.

It too was wonderful.

Arlene, Andy, Aine, Jack and the guys in the shop downstairs in the store (all of us) were adopted into Margaret and Jimmy’s life

We must all act on the instructions that Margaret gave us - You know she’s watching.

(That includes all of you up there ... How fortunate you are... She will be in your hearts as well.)